Retro: DANNY, THE CHAMPION OF THE WORLD by Roald Dahl

I had a whale of a time last week reading Roald Dahl’s DANNY, THE CHAMPION OF THE WORLD as a bed-time story. Lily, recently turned seven years old, was thrilled by the story, and particularly impressed with Danny’s dad William, upon whom she bestowed what appears to be the ultimate accolade in fatherhood by describing him as ‘a very daddish dad’.
  All of which was marvellous, because I vividly remember reading DANNY as a child myself, and it’s a book that has stuck in my memory for the best part of 40 years. That may well be, as I realised on re-reading it, that DANNY is essentially a ‘heist’ story, as Danny and his dad set about sabotaging local landowner Mr Victor Hazell’s shooting party by poaching his entire stock of pheasants, and with the tacit approval of the entire village – doctor, vicar and policeman included – to boot.
  Like many crime writers, and certainly on this side of the pond, I read Enid Blyton voraciously during my childhood – the Famous Five, the Secret Seven, the Five Finder-Outers, the Adventure stories featuring Philip, Dinah, Lucy-Ann and Jack (and parrot Kiki), the Barney Mysteries, but also the Twins of St Clare’s and the Malory Towers books – but if memory serves, DANNY is the first book I read that was a mystery / crime story told from the perspective of the criminals. It’s also true that Danny and his dad aren’t poachers from need, driven to steal by hunger and want, but for the sheer thrill of it – the excitement of the deed itself, and the exhilaration of having pulled off the big one. And it’s not as if William is a Robin Hood character – William intends to share the proceeds of his heist with his friends, certainly, but given that said friends are a doctor, vicar and policeman, it’s not exactly a case of robbing the rich to give to the poor.
  When I suggested to Lily that perhaps we shouldn’t be ‘up’ for Danny and his dad, because they were stealing from Mr Victor Hazell, she was having none of it. Mr Victor Hazell is a nasty piece of work, a snob and a bully, and he fully deserves his comeuppance, even if that involves Danny and his dad breaking the law.
  It’s a similar kind of story to FANTASTIC MR FOX, of course, which we also enjoyed a couple of months ago, although in that case – from a moral perspective – Mr Fox steals in order to feed his family, and then reacts in spectacular fashion to the subsequent persecution. DANNY, THE CHAMPION OF THE WORLD is another matter entirely, a genteel story of sticking it to The Man for no other reason than The Man owns pheasants that taste good when they’re roasted.
  No wonder Lily loved it so much. Next week we’ll probably move it up a notch to Richard Stark’s THE HUNTER.

“Ya Wanna Do It Here Or Down The Station, Punk?”: Eoin Colfer

Yep, it’s rubber-hose time, folks: a rapid-fire Q&A for those shifty-looking usual suspects ...

What crime novel would you most like to have written?
I would love to have written SILENCE OF THE LAMBS, and not just for all the residuals and royalties, but also because it is a groundbreaker and I think that is a part of what all writers are trying to do; redefine a genre, become the new standard. And I think that is what Thomas Harris did with SILENCE.

What fictional character would you most like to have been?
I think I would like to have been Doctor Watson. Watson followed Holmes around taking notes, so he was involved in the thrilling adventures but also got to do what I love best: write. Having to fight in the Afghan wars might be a bit of a drawback.

Who do you read for guilty pleasures?
I do occasionally fall back on the big crime writers like Jo Nesbo or Michael Connelly. They are always reliable fun, especially on a holiday. Of course I seethe with jealousy as I read but these guys undeniably put a top class thriller together. John Sandford is another one.

Most satisfying writing moment?
I think when Artemis Fowl was voted the UK’s favourite Puffin Classic ever. In your face, Roald Dahl. Sorry, that was childish.

The best Irish crime novel is …?
That’s a hard one. I do like me a bit of Ken Bruen. I love AMERICAN SKIN. But I would have to throw EIGHTBALL BOOGIE in there, and also an old collaboration novel I really enjoyed called YEATS IS DEAD in which Pauline McLynn and Marian Keyes totally crushed the opposition.

What Irish crime novel would make a great movie?
I think my last crime book, PLUGGED, would be a good a good movie, but besides my stuff I think MYSTERY MAN by Colin Bateman would possibly be the funniest crime movie ever, in the right hands. It’s probably being made as I type.

Worst / best thing about being a writer?
The best thing about being a writer is that you are allowed to choose your own music in the office and also build a shrine to your own accomplishments. The worst thing is that there are not many things sadder than a middle aged man looking at pictures of himself when he was for a brief moment cool, while listening to Whitesnake.

The pitch for your next book is …?
It’s a time travel trilogy where the FBI have discovered a wormhole and are using it to hide federal witnesses in the past.

Who are you reading right now?
I am reading SNOWDROPS by AD Miller, a brilliant evocation of new Russia and the crime that is rife there.

God appears and says you can only write OR read. Which would it be?
I would have to say read. Otherwise I could only read my own stuff and how shit would that be. Especially since I wrote it.

The three best words to describe your own writing are …?
Day by Day.

Eoin Colfer’s THE LAST GUARDIAN, the last in the Artemis Fowl series of novels, is published by Puffin.