ABSOLUTE ZERO COOL: “A cross between Raymond Chandler and Flann O’Brien.” – John Banville. “Among the most memorable books of the year, of any genre.” – Sunday Times. SLAUGHTERS HOUND: “A hardboiled delight.” – Guardian. THE BIG O: “Imagine Donald Westlake and Richard Stark collaborating on a screwball noir.” – Kirkus Reviews. EIGHTBALL BOOGIE: “One of the sharpest, wittiest books Ive read for ages.” – Sunday Independent. THE LOST AND THE BLIND: “Burke shows again that he’s not just a comic genius, but also a fine dramatic writer and storyteller.” – Booklist.

Friday, November 23, 2007

“Yes, A Stalker Is A Person In Your Neighbourhood / In Your Neighbourhood …”

Being an appeal to the greater crime fiction reading public from the Crime Always Pays elves (deputation pictured, right):
“Ahem! Ahem-hem!” (There follows much clearing of tiny throats and jostling to get to the back of the deputation). “Every once in a while, an Irish crime fiction writer slips under the radar we’re supposed to be manning – elving, rather – to ensure that every Irish crime fiction writer gets a fair crack of the whip. Now, we’re the first to admit that it’s entirely possible that this is our fault, but what matters right now is that if we don’t get some info together on Leo Farrell, author of NOT ALL STALKERS ARE BAD, then the Grand Vizier, Declan Burke, is going to cut off our supply of patented Elf-Wonking Juice and ban us from hanging out in the dungeons with HR Pufnstuf and his magical hookah. And so far, all we’ve got is this blurb:
Stalking is a recognised psychological disorder. In simple terms it is the pursuit of prey by stealth for a purpose. In the case of Walter Slater, the prey was an accountant in his workplace. The purpose was to establish a loving relationship between them. The modus operandi was in breach of the law. Walter’s apologia chronicles his bizarre and lascivious stalking, stealing and data theft to obtain insider information to help him in his dangerous project to win the beautiful Sarah.
“As far as we know, Leo Farrell is a playwright, both for stage and radio, although NOT ALL STALKERS ARE BAD appears to be his debut novel. Can anyone out there help us fill in the gaps? We’d be very grateful. Without the Elf-Wonking Juice, life at Crime Always Pays Towers simply wouldn’t be worth living. And even if you don’t have any information, we’d appreciate it if you’d tell the Grand Vizier to lay off with the bull-whip. We thank you for your attention.”

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