“Declan Burke is his own genre. The Lammisters dazzles, beguiles and transcends. Virtuoso from start to finish.” – Eoin McNamee “This bourbon-smooth riot of jazz-age excess, high satire and Wodehouse flamboyance is a pitch-perfect bullseye of comic brilliance.” – Irish Independent Books of the Year 2019 “This rapid-fire novel deserves a place on any bookshelf that grants asylum to PG Wodehouse, Flann O’Brien or Kyril Bonfiglioli.” – Eoin Colfer, Guardian Best Books of the Year 2019 “The funniest book of the year.” – Sunday Independent “Declan Burke is one funny bastard. The Lammisters ... conducts a forensic analysis on the anatomy of a story.” – Liz Nugent “Burke’s exuberant prose takes centre stage … He plays with language like a jazz soloist stretching the boundaries of musical theory.” – Totally Dublin “A mega-meta smorgasbord of inventive language ... linguistic verve not just on every page but every line.Irish Times “Above all, The Lammisters gives the impression of a writer enjoying himself. And so, dear reader, should you.” – Sunday Times “A triumph of absurdity, which burlesques the literary canon from Shakespeare, Pope and Austen to Flann O’Brien … The Lammisters is very clever indeed.” – The Guardian

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

My Daddy’s Santa Wish-List


“Hi, my name is Lily. My daddy, Ol’ Sillyput, is currently seeing four keyboards and three PC monitors as a result of the ongoing ‘Operation Eggnog’, so he has asked me to wish everyone a very happy Christmas and an even happier New Year. If you’re reading this, Santa, here’s Daddy’s wish-list:
World peace
The Subbuteo Dukla Prague away kit
Two front teeth
An extra hour’s writing time – per day – in 2009
A modicum of talent
Good health and happiness for all Crime Always Pays readers
For each and every Irish crime writer to buck economic and industry trends to become rich beyond their wildest dreams and / or pay the mortgage, depending on which is the more reasonable aspiration
  “And that’s it. Have a good one, people, and we’ll see you all back here again in January. Boopy-doop!”

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Talent. Tick.

Teeth. Our tooth fairy pays about £1 per tooth. Depending on what she sells them on for, I reckon your fans can club together and get you those. (All the better to bite with?)

The rest. It's harder. Not sure about that kit. We'll try and be happy and healthy, but can't promise.

(About the money; speak to Eoin Colfer or Derek Landy and see what they can spare.)

Dana King said...

Worthy wishes, all. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to Lily, Aileen, and The Grand Vizeer from everyone here at The Home Office. It's been a rough year in a lot of ways, but the news from CAP Tower has always been eagerly awaited.

John McFetridge said...

I thought paying the mortgage WAS rich beyond a writer's wildest dreams?

Here's hoping you get everything on your wish list, and if you don't, looking at that picture tells me it was still your best year ever.

Have a good one yourself.

seana graham said...

Boopy doop right back at you, Lily. And tell your dad thanks for all his hard work here--that is, when ever he becomes semi-conscious again.

Gerard Brennan said...

Merry Christmas!

gb

Peter Rozovsky said...

Merry Christmas, Lily, and wish your mum and dad a Merry Christmas from me, too. Ciao, baby.
==============
Detectives Beyond Borders
"Because Murder Is More Fun Away From Home"
http://www.detectivesbeyondborders.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas and all the best for the New Year!

Patricia said...

Thanks for right back at ya'

The Unquiet Man said...

I don't know about Dukla Prague but I can sort out a Malmo team if needed.