Good news and bad news, people. That we’re back, of course, is the bad news. The good news, however, is that there was something of a coup d’etat while the Grand Viz was away on holiday, and Princess Lilyput (pictured above, grovelling minions just out of picture) is now running the show here at Crime Always Pays Towers. There’ll be changes, apparently, and as most of them will be imposed by the necessity for more Lily-time, they’ll be fairly drastic.
The first is that the new national anthem is Three Gypsies Are We, and if that doesn’t sound familiar it’s because the Princess commissioned it from the Court Composer Elf only last Monday as the royal cortege wound its way through the West Country towards Dartmoor. Sung to a light, Gilbert & Sullivan-ish operetta air, the anthem runneth thusly:
Three gypsies are we /A modest piece, it’s true, but the Princess seems to like it. There’s no need to stand, by the way; she’s a fairly easygoing tyrant.
Off to see the sea /
To seeeeeeee what we can see /
Where shall we go? /
Nobody knows /
Oooonnnnly we three gypsies.
It’s good to be back, people. Even if I have been deposed …