Praise for Declan Burke: “Burke shows again that he’s not just a comic genius, but also a fine dramatic writer and storyteller.” – Booklist. “Proust meets Chandler over a pint of Guinness.” – Spectator. “Among the most memorable books of the year, of any genre.” – Sunday Times. “A hardboiled delight.” – Guardian. “Imagine Donald Westlake and Richard Stark collaborating on a screwball noir.” – Kirkus Reviews. “A cross between Raymond Chandler and Flann O’Brien.” – John Banville.

Monday, July 7, 2008

“Annnnnnnnnd … We’re Back.”

Good news and bad news, people. That we’re back, of course, is the bad news. The good news, however, is that there was something of a coup d’etat while the Grand Viz was away on holiday, and Princess Lilyput (pictured above, grovelling minions just out of picture) is now running the show here at Crime Always Pays Towers. There’ll be changes, apparently, and as most of them will be imposed by the necessity for more Lily-time, they’ll be fairly drastic.
  The first is that the new national anthem is Three Gypsies Are We, and if that doesn’t sound familiar it’s because the Princess commissioned it from the Court Composer Elf only last Monday as the royal cortege wound its way through the West Country towards Dartmoor. Sung to a light, Gilbert & Sullivan-ish operetta air, the anthem runneth thusly:
Three gypsies are we /
Off to see the sea /
To seeeeeeee what we can see /
Where shall we go? /
Nobody knows /
Oooonnnnly we three gypsies.
  A modest piece, it’s true, but the Princess seems to like it. There’s no need to stand, by the way; she’s a fairly easygoing tyrant.
  It’s good to be back, people. Even if I have been deposed …