“Prose both scabrous and poetic.” – Publishers Weekly. “Proust meets Chandler over a pint of Guinness.” – Spectator. “A sheer pleasure.” – Tana French. “Among the most memorable books of the year, of any genre.” – Sunday Times. “A hardboiled delight.” – Guardian. “Imagine Donald Westlake and Richard Stark collaborating on a screwball noir.” – Kirkus Reviews. “A cross between Raymond Chandler and Flann O’Brien.” – John Banville. “The effortless cool of Elmore Leonard at his peak.” – Ray Banks. “A fine writer at the top of his game.” – Lee Child.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

What Would JC Do?

A Minister for Propaganda Elf writes: Like all good things, people, ye olde Johne Connollye competitione had to come to an end, and the best we can say about the experience is that we’re not much older and just a smidge wiser, providing you consider that learning there exists out there somewhere ‘a fabulously ugly china figurine of the Guggenheim Bilbao dog riding a motorbike’ amounts to additional wisdom (cheers, Keiron). We also learned that Lisa B may or may not have John Connolly chained up in her basement or attic, and it’s entirely likely the case of Glenfiddich-flogging Josh Schrank was the fink who tipped off the cops about it (boo, etc.). Anyhoo, on with the winners: a trumpet parp please, maestro, for (a) Diane Lawlis, not only for making Jack Daniel’s Pecan Pie, but for shipping internationally; (b) Norby, for the outrageous flattery, and allowing the Grand Vizier understand for one glorious, fleeting moment how it must feel to be John Connolly; and (c) Fiona at the noenic(at)gmail.com address for displaying local knowledge with the M50 ‘stuck-in-limbo’ gag. To everyone else who entered, we thank you for taking the time and making the effort. Next week: Crime Always Pays runs a competition to spend one night with John Connolly, in Lisa B’s basement / dungeon, with JC facial hair optional. Meanwhile, if the winners would like to contact the Grand Vizier at dbrodb(at)gmail.com with a snail mail address, a copy of THE REAPERS will be winging its way to you post-haste …

7 comments:

Fiona said...

Declan, you made my day! I got a parking fine this morning and just thought "yeah well, might as well check which lucky bugger won the proofs cos it won't have been me"
[gloomy-smiley]

BUT IT WAS!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Oh, and John as well of course. Congrats to norby and lawlis too :D

I'll mail you my snail mail address forthwith before some imp tries to waylay my copy.
:D

Josh Schrank said...

Dec, Thanks for running the competition, we all had fun with it. I'm sure all three ladies, while not as deserving as some of us, appreciate the ARCs and will be lauding it over the rest of us serfs for ages to come. Congrats ladies! By the way Dec, if you send me a snail mail address, I'm sure one of these bottles has your name on it regardless of who won. Consider it a belated happy baby gift from all of us.

norby said...

Woohoo!!! Once again, being a faithful reader of Crime Always Pays pays off!

Diane Lawlis said...

Hoo-dogies! I'm so thrilled! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Much like Noeni, this has really made my day!

Declan Burke said...

You're more than welcome folks, and I'm sure you'll enjoy ... Josh? I appreciate your grace in defeat, sir - unfortunately, I don't actually drink whiskey. It's an esoteric strain of the homosexual Irish guy, the man who prefers women to booze ... but I'll gladly take you up on the coke and crisps if we ever bump into one another. Erm, it is the fizzy beverage you're talking about, right? Cheers, Dec

Josh Schrank said...

Dec... lol, yep the fizzy beverage it is. Of course, I'm glad you came back with that reply as I checked shipping after I posted. The shipping was more than 40.00 USD! I'll personally hand carry the crisps.

Josh Schrank said...

Wait... I just reread your post. You're wanting me to ship over a woman instead?? I dunno what import duties apply to something like that..