“Prose both scabrous and poetic.” – Publishers Weekly. “Proust meets Chandler over a pint of Guinness.” – Spectator. “A sheer pleasure.” – Tana French. “Among the most memorable books of the year, of any genre.” – Sunday Times. “A hardboiled delight.” – Guardian. “Imagine Donald Westlake and Richard Stark collaborating on a screwball noir.” – Kirkus Reviews. “A cross between Raymond Chandler and Flann O’Brien.” – John Banville. “The effortless cool of Elmore Leonard at his peak.” – Ray Banks. “A fine writer at the top of his game.” – Lee Child.

Friday, April 4, 2008

The Best Things In Life Are Free … Books

As one or two of you may be aware, a young whipper- snapper by the name of John Connolly has a new novel on the way, with THE REAPERS due on a shelf near you on May 15. Thanks to the friendly-as-a-hungry-Buddhist folk at Hodder Headline Ireland, however, Crime Always Pays has three ARCs of THE REAPERS to give away this very week, and it would have been four copies only that the Grand Vizier personally waylaid the delivery guy and half-inched a signed copy by said tyro, the Connolly dude, with an ambush that utilised a diversionary tactic involving two unicorns, a 1:52 scale model of Noah’s Ark and a wooded clearing surrounded entirely by liquorice trees. Anyhoo, quoth the blurb elves:
They are the Reapers, the elite among killers. Men so terrifying that their names are mentioned only in whispers. The assassin Louis is one of them. But now Louis, and his partner, Angel, are themselves targets. And there is no shortage of suspects. A wealthy recluse sends them north to a town that no longer exists on a map. A town ruled by a man with very personal reasons for wanting Louis’ blood spilt. There they find themselves trapped, isolated, and at the mercy of a killer feared above all others: the assassin of assassins, Bliss. Thanks to former detective Charlie Parker, help is on its way. But can Angel and Louis stay alive long enough for it to reach them?
To be in with a chance of winning a copy of THE REAPERS, just answer the following question:
Is John Connolly:
(a) the sexiest Irish writer alive;
(b) the sexiest Irish writer alive or dead;
(c) the sexiest Irish writer alive, dead, undead or trapped in some kind of supernatural limbo between this world and the next?
Answers in the comment box below, please, with an email contact, as the Grand Vizier claims he is way too busy right now to respond to all the emails individually, the lazy bugger. The closing date, by the way, is noon on Tuesday, April 8th. Et bon chance, mes amis

51 comments:

Anonymous said...

Answer to question is (c)

Regards

Paddy

phughes@drurycom.com

Gerard Brennan said...

I'll go with (c) as well.

gerardforpresident @ yahoo.co.uk

Later 'gator

gb

colman said...

answer is (C) but with the added comment that he doesn't actually float my boat, but might if I was a big girly
colman.keane@itabuk.com

Cathy said...

(c) without a shadow of a doubt, and God knows I have searched supernatural limbos!

Anonymous said...

c) because it has the true Irish humor

djbaynham@aol.com

Keith Rawson said...

Is John Connolly:

(c) the sexiest Irish writer alive, dead, undead or trapped in some kind of supernatural limbo between this world and the next?

Damn skippy

keith.rawson@phoenix.edu
rawson1102@cox.net

Laura said...

I'll go with (c) Mr. Burke sir. I have to bake a cake on May 15th so it would suit me better to have it read beforehand.

Thanking you,

Laura.

waspinwig@eircom.net

Josh Schrank said...

John, as much as we care for you, you have to understand that Irish and Sexiest should never be seen together in the same sentence. However, I do fancy a proof of the Reapers.

Josh_Schrank@yahoo.com

Declan Burke said...

Thanks for dropping by, folks, and you're all in the hat for the draw ... Cheers, Dec

Diane Lawlis said...

I thought we were done with all the fawning. Oh well, not being one to want to go against the grain I, too, will go with answer (c). And, don't forget, I make EXCELLENT Jack Daniel's Pecan Pie, just in case that tidbit of info might help in the decision making process. And yes, I ship internationally!

lawlis42@yahoo.com

Diane Lawlis said...

I thought we were done with all the fawning. Oh well, not being one to want to go against the grain I, too, will go with answer (c). And, don't forget, I make EXCELLENT Jack Daniel's Pecan Pie, just in case that tidbit of info might help in the decision making process. And yes, I ship internationally!

lawlis42@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

Hi Dec
The answer is c.

Thanks
Fiona


fiona.mccartney@oceanfree.net

Declan Burke said...

Holy moly, Jack Daniel's Pecan Pie? The ante has just been raised, people ... Cheers, Dec

Josh Schrank said...

Declan, to be fair I really think you should remove Diane's comment. She tried smoozing him on his forum and it came to naught, so she's corrupting this contest also... I on the other hand only mentioned a case of 18 year old Glenfiddich (which is now yours for the asking Dec.)

Keith Rawson said...

Hey, Hey

Let's knock it off with the free booze and food. . .I'm offering money, cash money.

Fiona said...

(c) the sexiest Irish writer alive, dead, undead or trapped in some kind of supernatural limbo between this world and the next?

What, you mean he's stuck on the M50?

Of course it's c. Because I really deserve a proof.
:D

noenic at gmail dot com

Anonymous said...

answer = c.

did he make up those answers himself tho (if i had a little throwing eyes to heaven emoticon, i'd insert it right here)?

;-)

ed_kins@yahoo.com

john hubbard said...

I was going to say "none" because I am an American who cannot at all admit when another male is sexy. It is against our nature. ALL other men are beneath us in looks and inteligence. But I have come to grips and chosen C). JC gets teased about his hairdo on his damn message baord and I won't put up with it anymore! C is the answer dammit!

~ john hubbard (big john h)
john(at)thehubbardagency(dot)com

norby said...

Now Declan darling, these other people are fawning over you just because you're offering a freebie of John's book while I have been here all along.

The answer is C, but that's only if you're taken out of the running of course!

norby871@yahoo.com

Josh Schrank said...

Okay, even I will admit that last one was pretty good.

Declan Burke said...

Folks - and I mean the chaps, here - we're all going to have to get over our latent homophobia and / or penis envy and admit that John Connolly is smokin'. On the whole bribe issue, espcially with words like 'pecan', 'pie', and 'Glendfiddich' being bandied about, let's just say that 'bribe' is an ugly word, but 'barter' is less so. And Norby? I like the cut of your jib. Cheers, Dec

Josh Schrank said...

Bribe?? I never! All I was suggesting is that surely there is someone on the streets of Dublin that could benefit from a case of whiskey... And seeing how I can't be there to distribute it myself, I only thought some kind resident would offer to do the job for me.

Bribe indeed. I take back my post about how good Norby's was.

Anne said...

I'm not one to upset the apple cart, so I think I'll answer C as well. While I was reading the answer, I thought it was going to continue "or trapped in Lisa B's basement" or something.
I was also going to accuse Norby of kissing up, but then I say the picture.... I take it back.
Anne
a400poundnudist@hotmail.com

Anonymous said...

I've got this fabulously ugly china figurine of the Guggenheim Bilbao dog riding a motorbike you can have if you fancy it, Dec. That and a pass to the Bilbao booze cash and carry where Oban is knocked out at 12 euros the bottle. Now that the missus has gone to bed I can safely say that the answer is c. Of course, if Oscar Wilde had been embalmed properly...
Kieron
kieronspackman@hotmail.com

Diane Lawlis said...

Not that I feel the need to defend my comment, but Josh, you are a weiner. You know good and well that I did no such thing.
No pie for you!

Helga said...

This is getting to be like JC´s Forum:o)

I vote for C.
And I promise to to give anyone my food or cakes (since I´m such an awful cook:o) ).
How is that for a nice bribe:o) ?

Helga
helgabk@gmail.com

Helga said...

I meant to say: I promise NOT to give anyone my food or cakes!!!
Helga

Declan Burke said...

Helga - Hmmm, the reverse pyschology bribe? Interesting ... as is Keith's hard cash offer, of course. Unfortunately, the Crime Always Pays elves are Eliot Ness-like in their incorruptability ... except when it comes to ugly china dogs. Meanwhile, in not-unrelated matters, the Grand Vizier is about 100 pages into The Reapers, and it's stonking along ... some terrific backstory on Louis to boot. Cheers, Dec

Lisa B said...

Hey, what's that about my basement? He's not down there, he's not!! (He's in the attic...)

Anyways, it's quite obviously (d), which is "the sexiest Irish writer alive etc, etc EXCEPT when he grows that odd beard and mullet hairstyle combo". Duh!

Lisa B

Fiona said...

Oh that's just cruel, Dec - like eating a steak sandwich just over the nose of a slavering dog that hasn't eaten for a week...

Anonymous said...

Can i add a new answer....(d) the sexiest Irish writer alive, dead, undead or trapped in some kind of supernatural limbo between this world and the next...who manages to pulls off facial hair so very very well!
and if this isnt allowed ill go with ans (c)
thanks, roisin

roisin.harkin2@mail.dcu.ie

iremonger said...

Guess I'll follow the pack and go with (c). Thanks for posting about this - I'm always excited about a new Charlie Parker novel.

bluemind@gmail.com

Bob Burke said...

I'll go with the masses and vote c too. I'll resort to bribery if it'll get me a copy of a Charlie Parker book.

Bob

bob.burke(at)elivefree(dot).net

Anonymous said...

I have to go with (b). Something about the supernatural limbo, and the energy of those within it, is just so.....hot. And the undead? Weak at the knees! Truthfully I think John Connolly is the sexiest living writer, of any nationality. His mind is an incredibly, disturbingly, beautiful thing. Eyes and smile aren't bad either.


river.cadence@gmail.com

Lisa B said...

Oh, God! Got to hope JC isn't reading these - he'll be unbearable! He gets enough shameless flattery on his own website!

Anonymous said...

It's gotta be....

(c) the sexiest Irish writer alive, dead, undead or trapped in some kind of supernatural limbo between this world and the next?

bjstabler@hotmail.com

Declan Burke said...

Blummin' hell, I just realised ... you're ALL John Connolly, aren't you?

Helga said...

No, we are not all JC himself... but it is safe to say we are either alive, dead, undead or trapped in some kind of supernatural limbo between this world and the next when we read his books:)

Anonymous said...

I'll go with C .




Ryan Allar
rallar@belmontsheriff.com

Anonymous said...

looks like i have to go with c as well..

Allen McKay
allenmckay@hotmail.com

Anonymous said...

I believe I am the only non-"c", non-sheep (even if, in the end, I baa-ed for Mr. Connolly) voter. Doesn't that deserve an ARC?

river.cadence@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

And the answer is 'c'.

mail - anna-karin.hayden(at)home.se

Josh Schrank said...

So Dec.... where do I send the case of scotch?

Lisa B said...

Mmm maybe, if the closing date hadn't passed by... two-and-a-half hours when you posted... And I didn't vote C either...

Lisa B said...

BTW, Anne, those allegations about me having men (and potentially JC) chained up in the basement and degrading them in various ways - the charges never stuck! :-))

Josh Schrank said...

Lisa, you're assuming the case has been shelved. Surely you're not that naive?

Fiona said...

I think we now know who tipped off the cops, Lisa. They have a definite line of enquiry - and the hound dogs smell the scotch.

Declan Burke said...

Hi folks - Sorry for the delay, but the winners will be announced at some point today (Thursday) ... Appreciate your patience, cheers, Dec

Fiona said...

That's okay, Declan. If it's me who gets the proof, the lilyest Vizier will never want for booties.
:D

Lisa B said...

Hey, Joshie, better watch yourself! "Insufficient evidence" is "insufficient evidence" in anyone's book! And it's not my fault that the key prosecution witnesses were "unavailable" to testify. Well, not entirely... BTW, I know where you live...

Josh Schrank said...

And if it's me, he'll never remember what it is he's wanting for.